김포공항의 초심

한국을 떠나 미국을 오던 김포가 세상 사람들이 귀중하게 여기는 금을 버리면서까지 형제애를 소중하게 지킨 곳이었다는 것이, 새삼, 한국을 떠나 미국에 오며 가졌던 초심을 상기시킵니다. 수많은 이별의 사연을 김포공항에 묻고 세셈트리오의 “나성에 가면 편지를 띄우세요” 유행가에 눈물짓던 지난 세월들이 또다시 만만치 않은 이민 생활에 지치고 깨어진 상처들이 초심을 잃고 방황하게 했습니다. 미국에 살며 잊고 있었던 설명절을 억지로 상기하고 떡국이라도 한 그릇 더 챙겨 먹고 싶은 것은 나름 나이 값 좀 해야 하는 반성 때문일지도 모릅니다.

명절 후에 이혼하려는 사람들이 부쩍 변호사를 찾는 사람들이 많다는 기사를 읽었습니다. 포스트 명절 신드롬이라 불릴 정도로 두드러진 사회적인 현상으로 지목되고 있다는데, 부모님 찾아뵙고, 형제들이 모처럼 한자리에 모여 앉는 곳이 마냥 기쁨의 자리라기보다는 한바탕의 싸움판이 되기 십상인 안타까운 모습입니다.

낯선 미국 땅에서 새롭게 시작했던 각오들을 무색하게 하는 욕심의 얼룩들 앞에서 우리는 많은 상처 속에 얼마나 아파해야 했나요? 함께 믿음의 공동체라는 교회 안에서도 “하나님의 영광”이라는 이름 하에 숨겨논 나의 욕심들 때문에 얼마나 후회했나요? 그렇게 겪고 그렇게 많이 다짐을 했지만, 나도 모르게 다시 그 구정물에 빠지는 경우가 얼마나 많았나요? 그 옛날 떠나왔던 김포공항의 의미를 되새기며 던져 버릴 황금 덩어리는 무엇인지 생각해 보면서 다시 초심으로 새 출발 하는 새해가 되면 좋겠습니다.

Beginnig Hope of Gimpo Airport

Rev. Bryan Kim

Last year I went to Jeju Island for a meeting. To get to Jeju, I rode a bus from Incheon Airport to Gimpo Airport, and then took airplane to Jeju. Suddenly, I was reminded of the time we immigrated to US. Gimpo Airport was the place where many church members came to pray and bid us farewell with much tears. When we immigrated, some of us came on ships, some left out of Yu-Oui-Do Airport, some out of Incheon Airport, and for me it was Gimpo Airport. What I discovered this time around was that Gimpo was named after its Chinese characters, which means “Gold thrown ford”. A legend of Two Lumps of Gold goes like this. Two brothers were walking when they discovered two lumps of gold. Each brother took the gold and took a boat from Gong-Am-Gin to cross Han River. While crossing the river, the younger brother suddenly tossed the gold lump into the river. When the older brother asked why, the younger brother answered that he began to despise his older brother since they found the gold. He thought it would be better to get rid of the gold. Agreeing with his younger brother’s precious value on their relationship, the older brother also threw the gold into the river. Since then it is said that gold thrown in Gong-Am-Gin is called Gimpo.

Gimpo, where I left Korea to come to US, is said to be a place where brothers threw away their gold to keep their precious relationship, reminded me of the beginning hope of leaving Korea to come to US. Countless farewells stories are buried in Gimpo and shedding tears to a popular song “Send me a letter when you get to LA” by Sesem Trio is now a past. Losing our beginning hopes, we wandered in exhaustion and brokenness of immigrant life. Perhaps, it is due to our regret of forgetting, and forcing ourselves to remember Lunar New Year, eating a bowl of rice dumpling soup, vowing to be responsible as we gain another year.

I read an article that more people seek divorce lawyers after a holiday. This is even named Post Holiday Syndrome, and it is a social phenomenon. It is sad to see that on this rare occasion, as families gather visiting parents and siblings, they choose to argue instead of being joyful together.

How much did we suffer, as our resolution of starting new in this country became tainted with greed causing so much pain? Even in our faith community, the church, how much do we regret keeping our greed hidden behind the face of “God’s Glory”? We have experienced and made resolutions, but how many times have we fallen into marsh? It would be good if we remember why we left Gimpo Airport long ago and what is the gold lump we threw away, and begin this New Year with our renewed beginning hope.